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"Farewell, My Sweet"
silly graduate school project
book, images and text by Lisa Koonts
"Farewell, My Sweet"
not really written by Raymond Chandler or published by Bulldog Pubishing

 

It was a hot, hazy august day. The kind they call dog days down south. I was sittin' at my usual table in the corner, drinking java; when she walked in. She was well groomed, and had a dainty manner. She stood out a mile from the customary clientele. From the way she moved I could tell she was in trouble.

Seems like the leader of this gang been after her and wouldn't leave her alone. I told her I'd look into it. I'm a sucker for a sob story.

What details she'd given me were sketchy. Not much to go on. So I went to my normal source of street information.

I found him at the first place I looked, his accustomed hangout. His name was "Snoopy" because of the way he ate and just kind of generally loitered at Snoopy's hot dog stand, corner os Hillsborough and West. He was there when I pulled in and looked like he could use a handout.

He was ready to talk at the sight of a few bills and I got the dope on the rat that was botherin' an all right gal. He was a real tough character. Seems he had a penchant for the pretty type and he wouldn't leave 'em alone. He told me not to mention the source of the information.

I cased a couple of joints Snoopy put me into. I didn't find anything right off. I was turned down more times than the sheets in a second rate hotel.

 

Finally in this dive I struck it lucky. A guy so old he didn't mind talking. Like Snoopy said, the rat was a real male type. Rough and tumble, and liked to play it that way. I felt like I'd done enough work to deserve a square meal and I stopped by the Black Dog Cafe for a bite.

"Word on the street you been lookin' for trouble," the waitress said and slapped a cold one on the table. I said I'd have the usual.

She came back with the day's special and told me where I could find him.

I finished the indifferent plate of chow and left double the regular tip.

There is nothing I like less than the whole town knowing my business, but I hadn't exactly been quiet.

I headed down to the Scrambled Dog. Every eye in the town's worst biker bar was on me before I hit the door. The bartender knodded me to the back. I shouldered my way through some smelly leather.

He was there, waiting for me. Him and the rest of the pack.

I told them to lay off the dame. They drug me out the back door.

I was nursing a sore one in the alley when this hip cat sidled up to me. He said he'd tell me how I could even the score. If i'd pass him a fiver.

The next morning I tipped off the police on an uncoming crime. I dropped a few criminal monikers as bait. They said they'd check it out. They did. The sun was gettin' tired ot heating my corner ot the world when I got the call. I grabbed my hat and went to find the dame.

I figured she'd be happy to hear her menace was off the street.

She was. We were walkin' down to the Krispy Kreme for a dougnut and coffee

 

 

when he came around the corner. Guess he was better connected at the city hall than I thought.

It happened too quick. I couldn;t stop it. Sometimes you can't keep nature from taking it's course in this dog eat dog world. In the end, Fido ate Fifi.